“If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it.” – Anthony J. D’Angelo
This month, and this year, really, we are going to get into my head a little bit and hear about how wellness works for me from the inside out as well as the outside in. It's all about the balance of the two in order to achieve success in --feeling better.
I don't do New Years resolutions anymore. What I do is to look at what worked for me in the previous year, even if it means going through my calendar and seeking the good juju generating appointments and separating those from the bleh-inducing items. This way I do more of what makes me happy and eliminate the rest.
I'll share some of those ways here on the blog and you can follow me if you choose to expand your own happiness potential while doing some self-care work to create a better-feeling, more energetic and therefore product persona this year.
One of the first things I eliminated from my own behavior was to stop explaining myself. I guess I have to explain a bit about that, right? It's different, though. This is the 'good explanation.'
Why is is important to stop explaining ourselves for every decision we make or every emotion we feel?
- Time, first of all. You're creating more wasted time by complaining about what you don't want to do or who you have to explain this to.
- If you don’t set a mission for your day, and stick to your plan, your day will control you. I don't want to be controlled by my calendar or the 1000 emails that can actually consume an entire 24 hours, do you?
- Distractions come from every direction. Your boss, your friends, events, things you could be doing around the house. Generally you want to do everything, except maybe the thing you are supposed to be doing. This often requires setting a goal for the day and sticking to it so that it drives your day.
So much of the stress we feel comes from the things we didn’t do; at least this has been the case in my experience.
Let’s see how this works in real life when you explain your life away:
- Explaining = lack of confidence
- Explaining = you aren’t really committed to what you want
- Explaining = you might not know who you are and where you are going
Because you’re seeking approval or waiting for permission. Yuck.
Waiting for someone to say, “It’s okay. I understand.”
Or --you're waiting for them to judge you (because that’s what you expect to happen and you’re actually inviting it in).
How do you stop explaining your life away?
You make a decision and move forward. Sometimes simple is best.
“Thanks so much for the invite. I’m actually booked solid this week, but next week works!”
Making a decision sounds simple, but it’s something we have such difficulty with and it can create such chaos in our own heads.
Sometimes, rather than dancing around a decision that involves what to do next, the best thing you can do is just start. Leave out the perfectionist tendencies and details and just start. The worst thing we can do is ignore it or ignore a person we need to respond to. Just get it over with and move on.
Decide what you want. Just do it. Say it, write it, love it. Because you are a rockstar who knows exactly who she is and where she is going in life.
One of the best tools I have learned to use for this very purpose, by the way, is the Self Journal. You can find this online.
When faced with a decision, invite or multiple tasks, face them if they can be handled right away.
Use simple terms, and don’t explain yourself.
Feel better? I do. Now on to the next item on my list: that salt bath:) Happy New Year! More to come.
To hear more wellness tips like this and also get some goodies for your self-care routine, you should really be a VIP. No time like the present.