The Four Agreements

As you know, I have been running a Facebook Group where we are taking on the challenge of 1 year of Wellness. Each month we explore a different theme and and read and discuss a book to go along with that theme. I also invite in three experts every month in a field of wellness that corresponds to each theme. 

I wanted to share part of February's postings here and my thoughts as the group begins to evolve. I have noticed there are certain dynamics emerging and there were also challenges I didn't expect to face, which caused me to almost pause the whole group altogether at the end of February. I'll let you stay tuned to see what happened. Here is a bit of the February content on our book, The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz - a super popular choice. 

I am also going to link the new Podcast where I speak about each month and the chosen book, the challenges faced in the group, etc. As a woman seeking wellness, you can get access to what we learned in a more succinct way and as a business person, it might benefit you to hear about how the group evolved throughout the year. It is only March and there have already been incredible shifts and lessons learned for me in both life and business.

Without further ado...



In February I decided on the theme of Follow Your Heart Chakra. I wanted to tap into Valentine’s Day and also go into a little energy healing through reading and, again, our new experts. I knew immediately that I wanted to ask two women to help lead this effort. One was a friend since high school who is a Reiki master, a healing expert in massage and so much more. She is also a life coach and one of the most influential people I have had the pleasure of knowing. She can speak on a soul level and it’s impossible to stop listening to what she has to say. She spoke to the group and also did some sage smudging to clear energy in live videos. She shared her crystal reiki-infused jewelry during our sale weeks as well. 


I also asked my friend Laurie. who is a spiritual medium, to join us. Laurie has offered me personal guidance since I started this business journey and always delivers sage advice. She, too, did videos with powerful lessons.


February’s book choice was a huge hit amongst the group: The 4 Agreements by Miguel Ruiz. 


Below are some excerpts from the book, along with my commentary designed to create discussion and action in the group.


Our book this month is The Four Agreements. I chose this book because it taps into our theme of making our hearts happier by living better, more genuine lives. It also breaks down some pretty powerful lessons and action steps into four sections. Surely we can change ourselves to adopt even one…


The Four Agreements Philosophy

To begin, this isn't a new way of thinking. It dates back to the Toltes, a Mesoamerican culture and part of the Aztec civilization from 900 to 1060 CE. It's pretty timeless, however.

Think of the Four Agreements as guidelines for life, written out as the shortest class syllabus you have ever seen. And you don't even have to write a research paper at the end!


Be impeccable with your word

Don't take anything personally

Don't make assumptions

Always do your best


It is the hope of the author that by following the four agreements, we will look at life a little less rigidly, changing up some preconceived notions and changing some  behaviors that seem to be ingrained, so that at the core of this experience, maybe we'll be a little more self -aware and think before we speak... or react.


We started, of course, with the first agreement.


Agreement 1: Be impeccable with your word.

First of all, why 'impeccable?' Well, it means to do things 'in accordance with the highest standards.' And what better standard to hold high is there than our word?

We assume speaking with integrity is easy, simple and even second nature, but think about all the times we have told little white lies, regardless of intention. Or maybe we said we were going to do something and then backed out at the last minute. And then there is gossip. Friends.....we are all guilty.

I admire people who always speak with integrity and I'm lucky enough to know a few.

If we try to be upfront and say what we mean, avoid negative talk -- either about ourselves and others, think of how much better that will feel? Easier said than done. I know.

Compassion goes a long way in making this a practice. Is this the agreement you have decided to focus on this month? Will be talk to yourself with a little less judgement and kindness? Avoid gossip? Let us know in the comments.


The group began to respond a bit more to these book posts where they had been pretty silent in January, leading to some frustration on my part. The choice of text was popular and members seemed to be purchasing the book and thinking about jumping in. I still wanted to see more engagement, but again, patience won.


Agreement Two: Don't take anything personally.

But what if you're like me and you take EVERYTHING personally? I wish I were being facetious.

So this agreement is really about not taking the opinions of others to heart. Here's why we should stop wasting our time doing this: it's never really about us in the first place. It's about them.

Case in point: someone is having a really crappy day. Their car died, they are in danger of losing their job...ahem, there is a pandemic going on. Instead of complimenting you on your pretty new hairdo, they make a sarcastic remark. You run off to the stylist to shave your head.

Now, what if that same person just got a promotion at work, won a brand new car--the car of their dreams, and they are relatively healthy? They are practically skipping down the sidewalk when they run into you and guess what? They gush over that new hairdo. You are in seventh heaven and loving your hair.

What's the thing that didn't change here? You...and your hair.

Agreement Three: Don't Make Assumptions. And you know what they say about assumptions, don't you?

It's as if Mr. Ruiz wrote this book for me.

If there is something to assume, I will assume it. I'm getting better,

Not making assumptions is hard for people who think they have all the answers sometimes..just sayin'.


---------You can find agreements three and four continued in the podcast discussion or in the group.

February was…okay. I didn’t see the response to the guest posts that I had hoped for. I was left feeling a little embarrassed if I am being honest. So, I did what I always do and wrote a vulnerable post describing my thoughts, voicing my frustrations in a constructive way, and asking them if I should continue to do this work in March. Ultimately, I did not want to continue to invite guests in if there would be little to no response to what they had to say, which was the case for January and most of February. I was actually fully prepared to pause the whole group and rethink my strategy, which made me a little sad, be continued. Go here to listen to the full story.

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